change the pear vol. 37 7 Aug 2026

hello from the depths of winter! it’s been a tough old season in australia’s coldest city. but good things are never too far away: the beautiful gang gang cockatoos that come down from the mountain in the winter, hot soup on a cold night, a rare platypus sighting. i’ve missed writing here more regularly; i’d like to get back into a habit of it. this might turn into a bumper dispatch, so hold on tight.

on repeat

it’s been a strange season for me, music-wise. my kpop star is waning, in that there have been far fewer new releases that i’ve enjoyed over the last couple of years. i recently reorganised all my playlists (thank you zoë for informing me that apple music DOES allow you to make playlist folders, allowing me to escape tidal's lack of japanese music and constant glitches) and i was looking back at the kpop mixes i was making in 2021–2022 and guys, life was so beautiful! every few months i’d have to make another long playlist with all the new songs i was spinning. i know that that’s partly because i was just getting into the genre as a whole, and thus finding new-to-me music all the time. but i do think that the albums being released around that time were far more up my alley than what's being put out now. i’ve also slowly been losing my ability to multi-task, aka to listen to music while working or writing, so i’ve mostly only been listening to songs in the car or on my cycle to work.

like everyone, i listened to olivia rodrigo’s new album, you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love and i loved it! i’ve thought highly of ms rodrigo ever since i saw her perform at glastonbury in 2021. not the traditional home of a pop princess, but she was riding high off the popularity of her first album, SOUR, and the crowd was enjoying it. it was a good set! but it was elevated to a great one when she brought on “a friend” (lily allen) and they sang her classic, fuck you, together. to me, that is a move of genius. what does a drunk crowd of brits on a sunday afternoon at glastonbury want, when the sun’s warm on their backs and they’re on beer number 5? they want to bellow FUCK YOU!!! and she gave us what we wanted!

anyway, i’ve enjoyed olivia rodrigo’s music tangentially since then, mainly listening to the singles and a couple of other songs that stood out to me. the newest album is the first time i’ve really felt like oh yeah, this BANGS.

let’s begin by saying it’s a good thing i’m not 19 and still desperately in love with my ex-boyfriend, because these songs would have hit me so hard you’d have to peel me off the floor. but even if i’m no longer in the throes of that ultimately doomed relationship, i can still appreciate the precise emotions this album skewers. the longing in purple, the feeling of wanting to tie yourself to someone and then discovering they’ve actually tied you down; the self-blame in the cure, the feeling that you’re the problem, that you’ve poisoned the well, the anguish of “why can’t it ever be enough?” like, woof.

expectations is also a banger, poking sly fun at the feeling you get after a relationship where you’re like well fuck him anyway!!!!!!!!!!! self-esteem issues? who, me?? don’t be ridiculous. i feel absolutely fine :) i’m gonna move on and it’s going to be GREAT.

but my favourite songs are those at the start of the album, the ones that capture the giddiness and excitement of being SO into someone. drop dead is for the delusional girlies everywhere… manifestation works! the joyful thrill of getting what you wanted, of someone walking you home because you just want to keep spending time together… similarly in u + me = <3 there’s that untrammelled optimism and hope (they say modern love’s a cruel endeavour / and to that i say fuck it whatever!!!) you get when things finally feel like they’re going right. and stupid song and maggots for brains really do capture how batshit insane being in love can make you feel. these songs would be great if that was all they were doing; but even in these early tracks, the hope is undercut by something a little darker, a little sour (if you will). doubts are creeping in even though you’re trying your hardest not to let them, to cling to the dream for as long as you can.

there are some skips, i can’t lie, but overall it's a stunning album, one with a clear creative vision and impeccable execution. can’t wait to see where she goes next.

currently watching

it’s happening people… hana and i started season one of the wire. this has been on the cards for a while now, especially due to those aforementioned cold winter nights, but it’s been bumped up the ranks because i need something stressful to watch so i can sublimate my current stress about moving house into the fictional stress of a tv show. (this tactic worked really well for me once upon a time with my second year exams and line of duty—thank you alex.)

anyway! we’re three episodes in, and i’m having a great time so far. hana and i are inordinately fond of d’angelo. he is small and he looks like a little friendly turtle. i found the scene of him reckoning with what happened to the witness in his murder trial incredibly compelling. he’s clearly struggling with his role in his uncle’s drug gang; later on, he asks wallace and the other one whose name i’m not quite clear on (cannot google due to fear of spoilers) why there has to be so much violence involved in drug selling. he asks them to be kinder to the people they’re selling to. when one of them says, “they’re just drug addicts,” he counters, “and you’re a drug dealer!” it’s a compelling setup. related to the king, he clearly feels a family responsibility to the organisation, but he’s beginning to question it too. and he’s naive, enough to murder a man in front of witnesses, to talk about the way the others squeezed him out of jail in the car. i’m really excited to see where his character goes.

other things: i always love seeing michael b jordan. he is such a baby here!!! the scene where he’s playing checkers with a chessboard and d’angelo is like, “bro.” i loved it. also love bubs and his keen understanding of the streets. love kima being a big fat DYKE! love bunk and mcnulty’s partnership (unsurprising to all, i’m sure).

i have noticed that that the gender divide, character-wise, is very poor so far. we’ve got kima (and rhonda, i guess) but not really anyone else. i guess i am comparing it to the sopranos—as we all know, the other generational tv show that i’ve seen—which doesn’t necessarily have better gender politics, but does spend a lot of time with carmela, meadow & adrianna. i’m interested to see if the wire will move into the domestic sphere, or introduce more female characters on the streets/in the police station.

i feel like, so far, it’s paced very well. when we started episode 3, i was just beginning to think, “wait… surely we’ve got some dirty cops in here… when are they gonna show up”, and literally minutes later, we got the reveal that daniels, and potentially burrell too, is dirty. tight storytelling gives you what you want when you want it!

what a joy it is to watch good tv again. there is such keen attention to detail here, such intimate observation of the place and people that this show focuses on. everything feels incredibly real, from the casual violent racism tossed out by the homicide major, to the way the young kids hang out in the projects. like the sopranos, this is a show that rewards your attention. you are not going to be told what’s what. you have to figure that out for yourself.

last seen

i visited kallie and wesley in their beautiful brooklyn home back in late may, during which time we went to see after hours, showing at the brooklyn academy of music. it was part of their urban odysseys series (side-note: what a great theme to curate to!) and marked my first ever viewing of a scorsese film. and i loved it!!!

after hours follows a hapless worker drone, paul hackett, who strikes up a conversation with a young woman called marcy at a diner. later that evening, he goes over to her apartment in soho, and the rest of the night becomes a series of comic, unsettling misadventures. i don’t know how to describe it better than that, honestly: when i was watching it, i had no idea what on earth was going to happen next, and i think this movie is best experienced that way. wesley described it as somewhat of a predecessor to uncut gems and i agree with that assessment, in the way that events layer on each other, building up to climax after climax.

we’ve got bagel paperweights, life-sized plaster-of-paris sculptures, signs that say DEAD BODY with an arrow, a neighbourhood watch violent mob led by a mister softee van, flooded toilets, mysterious burns, accidental sexual propositions. it’s all completely bizarre and often very funny, capturing the absurdity of life, the liminal spaces that exist deep in the night in a busy city, and the strange characters that inhabit it.

my experience of the movie was definitely heightened by watching it while in nyc with one of my very oldest and most special friends! afterwards, for the next couple of days kallie and i kept saying to each other, “just like in after hours….” and we were always right. after hours is in everything for those with eyes to see!

reading

i seriously need to do this newsletter more often because i’m spoiled for choice in this section! i could write about taiwan travelogue, the best book i’ve read so far this year; i could write about meg mason’s latest novel, which made me cry like a baby and then cry all over again when hana read it and we discussed it. i could write about waiting on a friend and how i liked it but felt disappointed by it. i could write about kemutai hanashi and its careful, sensitive depiction of the complexity of queer partnership. i could write about the foundation series and its bonkers twists and turns. i could write about the books i’ve read recently for mine and eddie’s around the world challenge from iraq, belize, somalia and thailand.

honestly, i feel like this volume is long enough as it is, so maybe i’ll sit on these ideas and share one of them next time. and if you feel like indulging me with some audience feedback, let me know if any of these particularly appeal to you!

doctor congo! i need treatment for world cup fever!

how it felt watching 4 games per day in the group stage of the world cup. cabo verde’s first ever world cup goal. the island of dr congo fans in lisbon. the endless endick-ancelotti memes. the ghanaian witch doctor (mate we had to deal with literal magic). brazilian fans being the funniest in the game (one, two, three). joy in gaza after egypt‘s victory. hossam hassan’s principled support of palestine throughout.

AFTER REVIEW! the pure adrenaline of watching england 1 man down and 1 goal up against mexico. the mexican manager going, “gordon! fuck you!!” texting kallie increasingly insane things as the tournament went on. “they playing rubbish hana” — hana’s mum watching brazil’s performance. michael as the world’s harshest football critic (“forget me, my mother could have scored that!” / “very poor, SO poor”). haaland becoming an international treasure (a personal fave). kat texting me “DAN BURN IT DOWN”. ecuador beating germany to make it into the knockout stages (“our feet are on the ground on earth. and on earth you feel”). THAT djed spence tackle. we cannot speak of the rest of that game.

the beautiful game!!!! what a crazy six weeks it was. until next time!

miscellaneous (away/home)

seeing arenike in paddington station to start my crazy homecoming! celebrating elete’s birthday. dinner and sea salt & paper at claire and henry’s. the beautiful little pubs in hastings. walking in the hastings country park with green on our left and the big blue sea on our right. alex, lydia, saskia and dorothy taking me out for a surprise birthday meal! drinks on dorothy’s aunt’s rooftop terrace. saskia, dorothy and i getting caught up in insanity inside the bazaar. finding the perfect leather jacket! the guy in the pub who took photos for us and stood on a chair to get the right angle. walking to the watermill in merton with jun and then the city farm!!! seeing the newborn lambs gambolling. a long chat with nandini in the weird german gymnasium, and the wonderful books she got me. thai food with audrey, lola and christine. karaoke with alfie and marisa, and making white bean curry together. visiting alfie’s new house! jun cooking a beautiful meal for me and arenike. a hot walk in richmond park with shahla. the way the light sparkled on the water. abeera’s incomparable biryani, which i have missed almost as much as our conversation. cooking chinese food with siyang and meeting nacho! visiting claire’s allotment and watching cactus pears with stella. rooftop pizza in brixton and alex’s cake outside the police station. hayley in my garden. a beautiful pub trip with so many of the people i love best. kallie taking me on a gorgeous spa day. going to the market with kallie wesley and ilsa in the backpack! shannon’s baby shower. kallie taking me to ginger’s. watching the CL final with kallie and ilsa on my lap. seeing The Big Arch.

miscellaneous (home/away)

all the birds that are out in their flocks right now: gang gangs, corellas, king parrots, crested pigeons. the kookaburra who showed off for us in the botanic gardens. climbing with ash and morgan. ash telling me “you look a bit like me”. walking in the botanic gardens with kostas and marjory. spending the day at michael and preety’s new house. sending messenger birds across the world with roost social (join so we can be friends!!) sofia’s 3rd birthday! seeing the seismic vault. the stunning landscape paintings at the ngura pulka exhibition, where the painting at the beginning of this newsletter is on display (see the artists with it here). amy’s orange party. visiting the deep space centre with sophie, ash and morgan. night-time possums. the joy of watching a platypus swim and play just a few metres away.

thank you, as always, for reading. love you all and i’ll see you soon. 🍐